I never seem to know more than two things at any certain time or during any certain season. Sometimes I don’t know anything at all. If anything has been made more than clear it’s that I literally gave up all control when I decided to let Jesus take me on this journey. I don’t really get a say in what He wants to do with me, but I have realized that I have a choice to follow it or run away.
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To know Christ more than I ever have and to become more and more like Him everyday
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To only seek affirmation in Him
Out of all the things God could choose to show me right now, these seem to be the two most incredibly profound and yet remarkably irritating things He could be telling me. This means letting go of all the things I know and am comfortable with, and giving it all over to God. I’m a broken person, and I’m totally fine with saying that because it’s just the plain and simple truth. In fact all of us are broken, but most of us become so comfortable in our brokenness that we either choose to live in it or are ignorant to the fact that we are sinful by nature.
I refuse to be paralyzed by my brokenness.
God is asking two things from me (previously stated above) and these come with a price. First, to know Him more and become more like Him, means that I have to be stripped of everything sinful in this world, that my comforts, my coping mechanisms, my safety in the worldly things is all gone. I don’t get to just be me anymore, I get to be like Christ in every step. Second, to only seek affirmation in Him means that I have to lay down all my idols, my relationships, and anything that brings me false joy and tells me of my false self. That I can only seek true joy, my true self and worth in the Author of Life. Is it safe to say I’m broken? For sure! The only difference though between me and so many others is that I refuse to be paralyzed by my brokenness. I refuse to just sit in it and not do anything about it. If the Lord is going to break me, then I know it’s for an incredible reason and worth going through. So many people tell me that they are broken, but they use it as an excuse to lay in their pity party and to not push into anything that is remotely hard.
I want to just start posing the question to all of those who are sitting in their stagnant brokenness: What are you gonna do about it?
It’s always been worth it for me to push into whatever state of brokenness the Lord is bringing me through. He brings more freedom and more joy everyday, and I promise He wants to give you those things too. He wants to give you an abundance of it because He loves you, He is jealous for you, and He yearns to be in relationship with you. I learn more about God everyday day as He continually renews my mind towards Him, and as I seek my affirmation and worth in Christ alone.
